Tally Ho

When being a villain, one must deal with the rebuttal of facts and scenarios that will twist all logic and intelligent reasons and possibilities to go against you. The follow through is extremely important. Like in a great game of tennis (I don't play I observe) you must prepare yourself for the variable that may be thrown at you, and at the same time react to unaccounted for ball bouncing.
I failed in an attempt to be a villain at one point in the night. It resulted in a new experience and maybe a prospect. I was then a complete villain a little bit later in the evening, and although it was a definite challenge to stick to my guns, it felt kinda good. Sticking to my guns means (to me) being stubborn and non movable. Stating my position and point of view calmly and sternly. Any loop hole is a vacant spot for the knife and I can't afford to let in the other parties concepts. I did it. I was not the hero, and the night went on and everyone still were friends. Whew!
So, if I can keep this up, I'll either be at the top of the mountain, or dead from stress. Either way, it'll be the beat of my drum that does it. Even now I'm trembling inside to be able to tell people what I'm "not" doing with or for them, and what I will do.
I don't want to be the hated one, and I'm not talking about mean. There are some of us out there that do this automatically. They don't feel the guilt, or remorse for their sniper hits.
Oh and our President addressed the nation last night about the recession. I wanted to punch my t.v. screen.
There's a fine line between being a "bad" and "good". Mr. Bush has to learn which is his ass and which his elbow.
Further more, now in the next day. There is a scale that tips and you must watch in which way it could lean. Making a choice and being stern with your position may give you the victory for the moment. Can it lead to a new found respect by your peers, or loved ones? I'm not exactly sure.
I do know (and have witnessed countless times) that when I've broken character and stood my ground, I've always been dismissed as just "stupid" or "what's gotten into you?".
Only once a younger sibling (the youngest) validated my war tactics (in defense of a personal attack) and it meant a lot to me.
I hope you, or "we" can stand up for what we know is right. The knot in my stomach gives me no comfort, so I meditate on my mind's renewal of itself. Strength comes from doing something even with your reservations, when you're terrified, when crashing and burning very well can be an option.
Someone I know lives by the quote "fortune favors the bold". I'll add to that by saying freedom is knowing where you stand, and knowing who you are. It may not be as prolific, but I'm doing my best to communicate what I'm feeling.
If any of you have checked out the new Metallica album, listen to All Night Mare Long. It got me to work today in good fired up spirits.
Anyway, I'm going to try to be the person I want to be. I hope you all do the same. There may be casualties along the way, but I guess that's life. I've never been respected by being the "nice guy". I've been liked yes, but I don't believe respected.
Someone close to me told me "say what it is you feel, and don't ever back down, stand your ground....even if there's a chance you'll be made the fool...at least you'll be respected for having a
been a man, even for just those few moments". I was fearful I might be disregarded. She told me, "nine times outta ten you're disregarded any way, at least you'll have who you are to walk away with."
She was right, I don't want to be a sheep. I want to just be me. As years pass by, I guess that me can be, any one I chose to be. I just need to open my eyes and see.
It can be, at times, so difficult; but I guess it's worth sticking to your guns. Going out guns blazin'!
Tally Ho!!!